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delamo



Member Since: 17 Mar 2010
Location: Beaconsfield, Bucks
Posts: 1121

England 2007 Range Rover Vogue SE TDV8 Tonga Green

A man is lost on a hot air balloon over Ireland...he looks down and sees a farmer and shouts "Where am I?"...

...The farmer looks up and shouts back "You cant kid me ya fecker - you're in that feckin basket"

Post #86251 9th Oct 2011 5:41pm
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JOKER



Member Since: 11 Sep 2008
Location: Sconnie Botland
Posts: 15876

Scotland 

Laughing Laughing

Post #86256 9th Oct 2011 6:04pm
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mzplcg



Member Since: 26 May 2010
Location: Warwickshire. England. The Commonwealth.
Posts: 4029

United Kingdom 2014 Range Rover Vogue SE SDV8 Corris Grey

I love to pamper the wife after she's has a stressful day at work.

I get the hot water running, swirl around the foam & bubbles, and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are ready and waiting for her.

I know I'm a big softie, but that's just me Thumbs Up


My Daughter said, "I hope your going to shave that moustache off before we go on holiday its disgusting"

Thats the bravest thing anyone has ever said to the wife. Mr. Green

Post #86263 9th Oct 2011 6:17pm
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JOKER



Member Since: 11 Sep 2008
Location: Sconnie Botland
Posts: 15876

Scotland 

My Missus wanted me to grow a moustache and i said " thats because you want me to look like you "

Well seeing my dinner was in the dog ….. Whistle

Post #86268 9th Oct 2011 6:28pm
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JOKER



Member Since: 11 Sep 2008
Location: Sconnie Botland
Posts: 15876

Scotland 

Just too let you know the premature ejaculation society dinner is tonight No dress code, just come in your pants ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

Post #86384 10th Oct 2011 10:34am
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47p2



Member Since: 05 Oct 2010
Location: Gone Beyond, Subaru
Posts: 8048

Scotland 

There was an old man from Harrow,
who tried to have sex with a sparrow,
The sparrow said “No,
you can’t have a go,
as the hole in my arse is too narrow.”

Post #86476 10th Oct 2011 1:58pm
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andyboy



Member Since: 24 Aug 2010
Location: south wales
Posts: 540

Wales 2004 Range Rover Vogue Td6 Java Black

THE COST OF LIVING HAS GOT SO BAD THAT MY WIFE IS HAVING SEX WITH ME BECAUSE SHE CAN'T AFFORD THE BATTERIES! Laughing

Post #86496 10th Oct 2011 3:29pm
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47p2



Member Since: 05 Oct 2010
Location: Gone Beyond, Subaru
Posts: 8048

Scotland 

10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope.
Now we have no jobs, no cash and no hope. . . . . Sad

Post #86632 11th Oct 2011 9:39am
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KurtVerbose



Member Since: 08 Aug 2010
Location: Les Arses
Posts: 5848

Switzerland 2007 Range Rover Vogue TDV8 Stornoway Grey

Two men were having sex.

One said to the other 'go on, fist me'.

So the other guy sticks his hand up his partners arse.

'Now stick your other hand up my arse as well'.

So he squeezed his other hand up his arse.

'Can you clap?'

'No'.

'See, I'm still tight.'

Post #86729 11th Oct 2011 6:06pm
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delamo



Member Since: 17 Mar 2010
Location: Beaconsfield, Bucks
Posts: 1121

England 2007 Range Rover Vogue SE TDV8 Tonga Green

Shocked Don't want those images described in that last post in my head really! Neutral

Post #86736 11th Oct 2011 6:18pm
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KurtVerbose



Member Since: 08 Aug 2010
Location: Les Arses
Posts: 5848

Switzerland 2007 Range Rover Vogue TDV8 Stornoway Grey

delamo wrote:
Shocked Don't want those images described in that last post in my head really! Neutral


Sorry Delamo, thought the comedy outweighed the disgustingness. Embarassed

Post #86752 11th Oct 2011 6:42pm
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kingpleb



Member Since: 07 Jun 2011
Location: Maybe here. Maybe there, I get everywhere!
Posts: 8455

United Kingdom 2005 Range Rover Vogue Td6 Bonatti Grey

PMPL print off and post on Canal Street i dare you!! or even SOHO!!

Post #86755 11th Oct 2011 6:44pm
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delamo



Member Since: 17 Mar 2010
Location: Beaconsfield, Bucks
Posts: 1121

England 2007 Range Rover Vogue SE TDV8 Tonga Green

KurtVerbose wrote:
delamo wrote:
Shocked Don't want those images described in that last post in my head really! Neutral


Sorry Delamo, thought the comedy outweighed the disgustingness. Embarassed


Smile No problem Kurt - I didn't get to read the punchline....whatever fliks your switch mate Thumbs Up

Post #86765 11th Oct 2011 7:00pm
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JOKER



Member Since: 11 Sep 2008
Location: Sconnie Botland
Posts: 15876

Scotland 

Felt a bit down today.
so I dipped my Pakistani workmate in some bleach.

That brightened mamood.

Post #86786 11th Oct 2011 7:59pm
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delamo



Member Since: 17 Mar 2010
Location: Beaconsfield, Bucks
Posts: 1121

England 2007 Range Rover Vogue SE TDV8 Tonga Green

Its nice to see Blackberry showing respect for the loss of Steve Jobs with 3 days of silence.

Post #87127 13th Oct 2011 4:13am
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