I had a meeting in Norfolk yesterday and my current client rented me a 2.0 Tdi Passat Bluemotion Estate to drive the 380 mile round-trip in as I don't have business insurance on any of my cars.

I used to be a big fan of the Passat in my company car days, having had 3 in various guises and really aspired to them as a quality machine giving me a decent amount of upper-level kudos. So I believed.

So, a familiar car. And it was good. The 140ps diesel being fairly quick and it handled far better than my old same-shape model. The Bluetooth iPod integration and iPhone integration was easy and efficient as was the inbuilt sat-nav.

But the road noise gave it away initially. Then the ICE sound quality wasn't anywhere near as good as a FF. And it's nowhere near as roomy inside. It used to feel huge. The gearbox first-second shift was always jerky (my old ones were as well) and it lacked true muscle despite the initial, but too brief surge they give. 10, 12, 14 years ago, they felt truly fast.

But the telling thing was the way I drove it. I drove like a c.o.c.k. Couldn't help myself. It seemed the only way to get any excitement out of the thing. Just full-on all the time. Economical, though. Quick-ish. But no soul. No character. Nothing to admire. The boot didn't feel that big, either. And it felt very low to the ground. A very heavy storm on the A11/M11 had me crawling along as I couldn't see a thing. I'd have seen above it all in my FF and been safer because of it.

I got back into my S/C at 9pm yesterday after a hellish drive home. And rather than miss the Passat's ruthless efficiency and ability, I was relieved to get back into my S/C. I stopped driving like a nob and didn't look back at a car I once desired beyond all else in the company car park.

The S/C burbled happily and calmed me instantly. There really is a difference. And it's worth it in every respect. Si. <This is my name.

I eat rat poison.

A man ain't truly been insulted until he stands buck naked in front of a woman and she didn't even notice. Or care.

I had a 1995 passat 2.0L GL (sharp nose prior to the round front upgrade).

When I got it I drove from London to bristol. "By 'Eck" I thought. This one goes! It was absolutely bog standard to look at, with the cr@ppy std alloy wheels with the rund holes around the edge. But it did have unusual tyres, being 225 as opposed to 205.

On the autobahn I got it to 148 mph!

Looked under the bonnet and saw the VW GTI 16V engine. It was the perfect "Q" car and I saw off many a racer while full of skis and surf gear.

Magic.