European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the

silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru.

Und aftr ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

you forgot:

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!  All my spelling errorz are belong to me!

2024 RR Velar
2021 AM new Vantage

Schumacher's early life was marked by his leadership of Germany from 1933-1945. After faking his death in a bunker and going into hiding for a number of years, he used advanced Nazi genetic engineering techniques to emerge as a young go-kart racer in the 1980s.

Into Racing

During his time racing in Germany, he learned much about cheating, a sacred art which shall be quite handy in the future and will get some juicy DSQ's for him. Car Balance, cheating, die autobahn and cheating are all very important for Schumacher. Although he was very successful in German racing, he was never really given a chance in international tournaments as German drivers had a history sparking religious genocide whenever they didn't win (World war two was actually started because local Jewish racer Nando Alonstein beat Adolf in the annual Köln Zwei-hundert). However after a couple more years of persistent cheating, he was off to better pastures.

Into Formula One

Also known as "The Lying, cheating bastard one,", most famous for constantly losing to British racers such as Damon Hill, his Formula One career was highly prolific. He cheated from day one, and in the process, unwittingly won himself many drivers championship. His level of under-handedness (sometimes compared to that of Tony Blair and other politicians) was profound and will unlikely be matched for many years to come. His Formula one début was like no other. He qualified a rather unspectacular 12th but during the race, instead of overtaking opponents, he just pushed them off the road. Over the years his audacity has not tamed, but his subtley has grown tenfold, making his tricks harder to punish. In 2006 he raced against Fernando Alonso's Renault - Ferrari. He won only one race and thought he would emulate Keke Rosberg by winning the world championship. He almost did until Alonso's teammate Giancarlo Fisichella deployed the development that his team had been working on since forever. He raced ahead of Schumacher and deployed tactical mines which subsequently punctured Michael's Left rear tyre and dropped him to last place. Schumacher fought back and managed to bribe the entire field to move over when he tried to pass. Fisichella was obviously paid more than the others as he left the track and lost a lot of time to Schumacher. Massa won with Alonso second. Schumacher then moved to Switzerland to avoid the embarrassment of being a French Patriot.

Love Life

Schumacher is also famous for 'stealing' Heinz-Harrold Frentzen's wife 10 years ago. Schumacher kidnapped Frau Frentzen, bundled her into the back of his Ferrero Rochier, driving her off to Switzerland. Frentzen's career went off the rails after this period.

Schuey has one illegitimate child from his brief relationship with Mika Hakkinen, a rival who provided a sense of dry humour as a counterpoint to the notoriously outrageous belly laughs provided by Michael. The pair named their son "Kimi".

Children

Schumacher has 2 children. He supposedly thought of naming his son Ralf, but remembered that their was and never shall be another Ralf in the family. Schumacher's children: Adolf, 9, and Jelly-Bean, 7, are unlikely to follow in their father's motor-racing footsteps as they do not have any arms or legs.

Tragic End and supposed disappearence

Although he had himself forgotten about his early years as a politically outspoken pie-muncher, many had not and eventually his past caught up to him. It happened during the inaugural El Salvadorean Grand Prix. Prior to that race, he had an affair with Ron Dennis, the tactical adviser and rear gunner for the McLaren Mercedes F1 team. With only 4 laps remaining, Schumacher (now racing for JeepF1) looked certain to win, when he inexplicably disappeared off the track. Due to extremely poor coverage of the Circuit de Antonio Saca (only one small section of the track was actually televised), the mystery was never solved. He was presumed dead, and over 1 gang claimed to have been responsible and others say he was struckdown by God for being such a cheat, but the conspiracy goes on as to what really happened. Fortunately Michael turned up at a petrol station in Munich, where he claimed he had just broken another record - the longest hide and seek game of all time


 All my spelling errorz are belong to me!

2024 RR Velar
2021 AM new Vantage

love that foto from schumi  Daniel

Past:FFRR 2004 Vogue 4.4l bonnatigrey/sand/ burr walnut
Modifications: SC grill (not fixed) SC MY10 sidevents (not fixed), MY10 Letters front and back, clear sidelights , MY10 rear lights (not fixed), MY09 steering wheel trims, new MY09 sterringwheel 19'' seven spoke wheel (not fixed) 19'' MTS (not fixed), 20 '' wheels, doorhandelcovers brunel (not fixed), complete doorhandels (not fixed) burr walnutdoorsouround (not fixed)

Schumi photo is brilliant

 All my spelling errorz are belong to me!

2024 RR Velar
2021 AM new Vantage

Now you see why Angel is so loved over on RRSport, and why he has such a high post number on here and over there -you all think he works hard but really he spends all day playing in Photoshop (or should that be Fotoshop) and then posting very non PC pics of somebody Germany wants to forget about - he's the only German I know with an Anglophile sense of humour! He hasn't got the message about white jeans yet though...... It must be something German  2018 Mini Countryman Cooper S E All4 PHEV in Melting Silver - it’s whisper quiet in EV and polluter modes

Scary thing is i bet we all understood the text

thats why i emigrated to a neutral country  2002 td6 vogue, 06 supercharged facelift

I seem to remember Angel posting that on the AMOC forum some time ago, dont see you there any longer, why not? letters not necessarily in the right order

You are so cruel Dixy! 2018 Mini Countryman Cooper S E All4 PHEV in Melting Silver - it’s whisper quiet in EV and polluter modes

Ouch

that's why: http://www.xxxangelxxx.de/



PS: @ Tim : you miss your boat? All my spelling errorz are belong to me!

2024 RR Velar
2021 AM new Vantage

Angel, do you miss w k when you are not there? The only time I will miss the ship is when the salary stops! 2018 Mini Countryman Cooper S E All4 PHEV in Melting Silver - it’s whisper quiet in EV and polluter modes