My Nan just walked in on me having a w nk.

She was so shocked that she had a stroke... I couldn't believe how soft her hands were!

Last edited by iT LAD on 1st Oct 2010 10:16am. Edited 1 time in total

We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.

We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now. Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I could feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her.
Then, as the tension rose, we threw caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to the moment. Although inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm, moaning as I withdrew to prevent myself ending it all too soon. As the sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind- blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out any longer.

Finally, the moment we had been building up to was upon us, and passed too quickly. Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she had been.

She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered, 'Baaaaaaa' and rejoined the flock

BREAKING NEWS:The chairman of the Indian Commonwealth games has just tried to hang himself.

But the ceiling collapsed!

Hhellloo iis tthiis tthhe oownnerr off ttthe sshhoop ttthhatt i ggott ttthe vvibbratttor ffromm?? hhow ddo uu ttturrn ttthe ffucckkinn ttthingg oofff??

All top drawer .............

I'm am iPhone user and predictive test war my ikea.



I was walking past the church on Sunday morning when the vicar turned to me and said, "Love your neighbour."

I said, "Me too - cracking pair of tits!"

excellent vicar joke..

All brilliant

Asked the wife tonight if i could get a new Range Rover she said to me "only if you have sex with me every night"
Thought to myself Nah just keep what i've got ...........

If my posting's automatically stop for some reason tell the coppers to check under the Patio .......

gafasbvh vkdkd mkwkw kwkwwkki3itt lalskm
bvbgfjj3 8774 3764h wowo 8r9rnndf n, sna sjasy ewbfb v
uuwy twtwh37 362253h nldl oamcn n bbvvg oinf nfhr bb dm dkudm
ssg dtkkv mvn gw
mm kslasa wdfcb lhk hitmnr ju psl sokuf lsjjdpdm
nv nvhf fkf lgi ytu tyru jhf hgh gytnhm mn dfdfreg hdmk


gfgftrhrjfjkg,

sdsgdgthdnf

MICK wrote:

gafasbvh vkdkd mkwkw kwkwwkki3itt lalskm
bvbgfjj3 8774 3764h wowo 8r9rnndf n, sna sjasy ewbfb v
uuwy twtwh37 362253h nldl oamcn n bbvvg oinf nfhr bb dm dkudm
ssg dtkkv mvn gw
mm kslasa wdfcb lhk hitmnr ju psl sokuf lsjjdpdm
nv nvhf fkf lgi ytu tyru jhf hgh gytnhm mn dfdfreg hdmk


gfgftrhrjfjkg,

sdsgdgthdnf

er, sorry Mick,lost me there m8...

Stevie Wonder PM'd me earlier

I thought I would be a smart arse and try to deciepher what you had posted

b cks, thats been a whole hour i've wasted