As a Brit living in France, I see every day the problems non-native English speakers have with the complexities of our language (and I am oh so grateful for the advantages having it as my mother tongue )

Here’s a superb example, an amusing test for our non-English-mother-tongue members to try !


 It's "bébéchoon", ackcherly, with accents. 'Steve' to my chums.
20 years ownership of Solihull products, ALL GONE NOW, sniff!
Current motor: Suzuki S-Cross 4WD auto, 1.4 petrol. Oh so reliable! 5 years now and no problems. Oh, all right then, a leaking shocker replaced under guarantee.
Previous:
TD6 HSE L322 Auto FF
2.5 TDi 4-door Classic
Disco II
And my 1st Rangie: in 1995, a 2-door VM 2.5 diesel Classic
Not to mention the Lada Niva before those. (I said not to mention it!)

If you get a chance, read the book : I always get my sin.

If you are Dutch like me with English as second language or my wife who is a native English speaker (South Africa actually) and Dutch second language, it is great fun to see the screw ups by translating Dutch sometimes almost directly to English  MY 2010 5.0 SC Galway green and sand interior!!
Have the Faultmate MSV2 Extreme to be tinkering with the settings etc. !!

From what I've seen on various fora, there are a lot of native English speakers who have problems with the language.

My wife is Swiss and her English is far superior to many native English speakers. Ron B. VK2OTC
2004 L322 V8 Auto
2007 Yamaha XJR1300
Previous: 1983, 1986 RRC; 1995, 1996 P38A; 1995 Disco1; 1984 V8 County 110; Series IIA

That's like Stans location.....

I really do feel sorry for non speakers....

I' m going to polish a Polish car

I was reading a newspaper in Reading....

And once they have learnt English they need to learn American.....

Hood, fender, side walk, lug nut....... Pete

__________________________________________________
2014 L405 Autobiography SDV8 4.4 Loire Blue Ebony interior
2011 L322 Vogue SE 4.4 TDV8 Baltic Blue. Parchment over Navy Interior. Sold
2012 L322 Autobiography 5.0 Supercharged Ipanema Sand, Jet Interior. Sold
2002 L322 Vogue 4.4 V8 Epson Green, Ivory over Aspen Interior (Fatty Offroader) Sold
-Click for Project Fatty off roader-

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of test.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I have many, many more! It's "bébéchoon", ackcherly, with accents. 'Steve' to my chums.
20 years ownership of Solihull products, ALL GONE NOW, sniff!
Current motor: Suzuki S-Cross 4WD auto, 1.4 petrol. Oh so reliable! 5 years now and no problems. Oh, all right then, a leaking shocker replaced under guarantee.
Previous:
TD6 HSE L322 Auto FF
2.5 TDi 4-door Classic
Disco II
And my 1st Rangie: in 1995, a 2-door VM 2.5 diesel Classic
Not to mention the Lada Niva before those. (I said not to mention it!)

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough ?
Others may stumble - but not you -
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done ! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps ?

When the English tongue we speak
Why is break not rhymed with freak ?
Will you not tell me why it's true
We say sew, but likewise few ?
And the maker of a verse
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse ?
Beard is not the same as heard
And cord is different from word.
Cow is cow, but low is low,
But shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose and dose and lose,
And think of goose and yet of choose ;
Think of comb and tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll and home and some.
And since pay is rhymed with say,
Why not paid with said, I pray ?
Think of blood and food and good ;
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known ?
To sum up all, it seems to me
That sounds and letters don't agree !

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead : it's said like bed, not bead -
For goodness sake, don't call it deed !
Watch out for meat and great and threat :
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose -
Just look them up ! And goose and choose,
And cork and work, and card and ward,
And front and font, and word and sword,
And do and go, and thwart and cart -
Come, come, I've hardly made a start !

A dreadful language ? Man alive !
I'd mastered it when I was five !

I will teach you in my verse
Words like corpse, corks, horse and worse.
For this phonetic labyrinth
Gives monkey, donkey, ninth and plinth,
Wounded, rounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live !
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dies and diet, lord and word ;
Evil, devil, tomb, bomb, comb ;
Doll, roll : dull, bull ; some and home.
Finally - for I've said enough -
Through, though, thorough, plough, cough and trough,
While hiccough has the sound of cup !
My advice is : give it up ! It's "bébéchoon", ackcherly, with accents. 'Steve' to my chums.
20 years ownership of Solihull products, ALL GONE NOW, sniff!
Current motor: Suzuki S-Cross 4WD auto, 1.4 petrol. Oh so reliable! 5 years now and no problems. Oh, all right then, a leaking shocker replaced under guarantee.
Previous:
TD6 HSE L322 Auto FF
2.5 TDi 4-door Classic
Disco II
And my 1st Rangie: in 1995, a 2-door VM 2.5 diesel Classic
Not to mention the Lada Niva before those. (I said not to mention it!)

 Pete

__________________________________________________
2014 L405 Autobiography SDV8 4.4 Loire Blue Ebony interior
2011 L322 Vogue SE 4.4 TDV8 Baltic Blue. Parchment over Navy Interior. Sold
2012 L322 Autobiography 5.0 Supercharged Ipanema Sand, Jet Interior. Sold
2002 L322 Vogue 4.4 V8 Epson Green, Ivory over Aspen Interior (Fatty Offroader) Sold
-Click for Project Fatty off roader-

You don't need to be born across the water to have problems - watch the expression on the face of the average English person when spoken to by a Scot - especially one who works outside  Back in a Defender!!

My wife is Russian and can spook Onglish far better than me  SDV8 AB MY 2019
SDV8 VSE MY 2015 - Gone
5.0 S/C AB MY 2010 - Gone
4.2 S/C VSE MY 2006 - Gone

I was born and dragged up in London what chance do I have!

I blame the French!!!!!

bebechoon wrote:

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Surely this one wouldn't count as it should be

After a number of injections my jaw got more numb.

Plus if you then add the different ways of spelling the spoken version of our towns and villages that adds to the problem:-

Slough - pronounced slow slaw slaaww - see I can't even type it without it meaning a different thing!  Dan

2002 Zambezi Silver

Men And Motors RR Quote - It's like having wheels fitted to your living room!

Oh, yes, our place names are excellent at confusing non-natives:

Cholmondeley
Beauchaump
Gloucester, Worcester, Leicester
Peterborough, Middlesbrough, Edinburgh
Gillingham and Gillingham
Alnwick
Luxulyan
Bishops Lydeard
Fowey
Beaulieu
Holborn
Kirkcaldy

Teignmouth and the River Teign.

Not to mention all the welsh ones - Llanelli, Dolgellau et al

I feel extremely lucky to have English as my mother tongue.  Visiting from DISCO3.CO.UK
Discovery 3 TDV6 Auto HSE Zambezi Silver