The first ever public swimming pool made out of 100% urine was opened today – and branded a ‘triumph of common sense’.



“We were fighting a losing battle,” said Albert Frankly, head of Matlock Swimming Baths, Derbyshire. ”Five schools a week. That’s over 150 kids a day. We spent more money on chemicals than Saddam Hussein.”

Faced with withering subsidies however, local councillors were forced into some ‘creative thinking’.

“Austerity cuts have meant clean water maintenance is now impossible if we want to keep the pool open,” said Councillor Mark Dupree. “That’s why we approached the problem from the other way around, and after a few short minutes on the internet, I discovered that baths of dolphin urine are considered a luxury in China.”

“Unfortunately we can’t afford dolphins, but in the end I think we arrived at the most hygenic, cost-effective solution.”

“Discarded urine tests from the local hospital are delivered each night and keep the pool topped up. This is recycling at its most adventurous.”

“Now little Timmy can squeeze out a morning’s Lucozade safe in the knowledge that he is already swimming in an ocean of relief for the elderly and infirm.” ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

I've always said public swimming pools = public toilet Previously..
Vogue SE TD6
Defender 90 2.4
Defender 110 TD5
Vogue 3.5 EFI

Never go swimming in a crowded pool.
Always give the filtration and chemical treatment plant time to catch up with the
"pollutants" (filth).

Swim with your mouth shut

Just going through the motions.

Luckily im off to one of David Lloyds places for another freebi day  FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Taking the p155 as usual Mick