A few jokes as I'm in the city installing a couple of PC's and i'm bored out of my brians...



A Son asks his Dad the difference between theoretically & realistically. Dad says thats hard, but I have an idea. Ask Mum if she would sleep with Wayne Rooney for £1million. Mum says yes. Dad says now ask your sister if she would. Sister says yes. Dad says go ask your brother. He says yes. Well there you go son, thats your answer, theoretically we're sitting on £3million quid, but realistically we're living with 2 slags and a f king faggot!



Father and son in supermarket.
"Dad. what are these?"
"That's a 3 pack of condoms son for secondary school lads.
1 for friday night, 1 for saturday night and 1 for sunday night"
"What about the 6 pack dad?"
"Those are for university lads.
2 for friday night, 2 for saturday night and 2 for sunday night."
"Well dad. What about the 12 pack then?"
"Married men son. . . . 1 for january, 1 for february, 1 for march . . . .

iT LAD wrote:

A few jokes as I'm in the city installing a couple of PC's and i'm bored out of my brians...

First of all what are Brians ..........

Secondly Jokes .............  ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

fantastic

Brians

MICK wrote:

iT LAD wrote:

A few jokes as I'm in the city installing a couple of PC's and i'm bored out of my brians...

First of all what are Brians .......... :

Have I told you how crap gogle Chorme is... The spelll cheek is awlful...

 ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

Well today I'm on Queens land installing a computer for a certain Lady married to a certain Sir ... Can't mention names... Security reasons.


I was greeted this morning with a bottle of Champagne at 10AM... Bit early for me so put it in my car...

I must say there are off there titties... But very nice people. I took the liberty of bringing my swimming shorts with me as I'm going to blag a swim in the pool later. Cheeky sod eh...

No doubt Gin and Tonics will be flowing later in the afternoon as usual.

I just want to say, that life in IT is very hard some days and you should be pity us for the long hours we have to work...

The chef guy is just making me some lunch now...

Yeah i've seen Elton John's chef as well ........ mind if Michael Barrymore's there don't go in the pool ....  ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

I'll leave when the bumming starts...

<alert> BAD JOKE </alert>

How do you make 10lbs of fat look good?

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...Stick a nipple on it...  Land Rover Addict
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