oh it, here is a link to pages of them...

Some are very funny...


http://www.sickipedia.org/search/1/?q=wife

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

MICK wrote:

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

classic...  2004 black Vogue TD6

MICK wrote:

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

How do you stop your wife from drowning



Take your foot of her head...  2004 black Vogue TD6

Very good iT LAD.

This one made me chuckle:

Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.

Its my birthday today

delamo wrote:

Its my birthday today

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday mate!

Err... you're not naked are you???

http://thecake-bake.co.uk/images/range%20rover%20cake.jpg

Aaahh... lovely!

i wish i was a wife

Not such a good thing to wish for - judging by responses on this forum...

Thank you 47p2, dantheman and joanne, very kind of you

Now 37 years of age! (Its my birthday and i'll cry if I want to )

delamo, happy birthday mate for yesterday... Did anyone buy you something nice???...or did you buy yourself something nice???


Old Git...

MICK wrote:

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

Love it...