Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Colour of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Colour of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She went in my range rover

Sergeant:
What kind of range was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
Range rover, super charged
Ambient Lighting pack - , Front and rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, drive select, parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver's information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack - , Non smoking pack

(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your fatty

At least the polis have the right piority there  Cheers
Richard

(there are no such things as an ordinary FullFat, an ordinary cat or too many tools)
2011 TDV8 Vogue Santorini Black
Gap IIDBT

Lol, very good

 2021 D350 Fifty Edition - Carpathian Grey
2017 4.4 SDV8 Autobiography (2021-2024) - Santorini Black
2012 4.4 TDV8 Westminster (2016-2021) - Santorini Black

Top draw CTC

Even my wife (what’s her name sat beside me) thought that was funny. She’s gone to reapply make up as it’s cracked with Laughter  Hunt for a L405 is on.

Love it

. Cheers, Greg
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2011 Vogue SE 4.4 with lots of toys in Stornaway

but I seriously think that most man put more time in choosing their new car as in choosing their wife(s).

When I lose I just approach the very beautiful woman around and just say
“I’ve lost my wife, can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?”
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a supermarket when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a red halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says, "Doesn't matter - let's look for yours."

Nothing. Can’t find a delete button  Filters are in fact so good that in certain circumstances, when the ambient air is already polluted, a diesel car will tend to extract more particles from the air than it emits. Emissions Analytics worked with........etc etc

He who dies with the most toys wins...

My wife says that these jokes are incredibly sexist.

She also wants to see more of them . 2003 Range Rover Vogue TD6

superb, just what's needed, it's getting like groundhog day here, not in a good way..

My wife asked me to put the car in the drive for her.

Admittedly, it is a bit of a tight fit.

After I'd done it, she asked me, "How did you do that?"

I explained that there's a small mark on the wall and when that lines up with the left hand wing mirror I pull the steering wheel slightly to the right and it fits in fine.

"No," she said. "How did you make it go backwards?" BMW X3 30e XDrive M Sport
GoneBMW 330e
Gone MY2016 RR Vogue Fuji White SDV8 with a few extras...
Gone MY2016 Discovery Sport HSE