Long story short
Been away for 8 weeks, miracle, and my guys starts car up when away.
Started up 2012 supercharge 8 days before I came back all okay. I believe him as worked for me for years
Got back went towards car to open remotely, and zip, nada , nothing, used key to get in an put battery on charge, but after 24 hours still a dead parrot, not even lighting up battery tester !! Why gone so dead who knows
Tried jump starting and came up can’t find smart key, tried wafting round where it said but still couldn’t find it
Have now put new battery on, and slowly things working, even remote locking works now. So remote key okay ?
But still won’t start and no longer saying can’t find smart key anymore , just clicks and nothing else.
Changed fuse 17 but no joy, can just hear something clicking when I try to start which am guessing is the immobiliser not wanting to work.
Best bit, supposed to be going to a wedding in Scotland and only car with a full tank of fuel !!!!!!!
Any ideas suggestions, offers to come out and sort, will pay 💰
Thanks
Phil

Love to say I can help people that ever get this problem but !
Kept pressing engine start and all of a sudden one worked, no idea why as not worked all last night.
Seems everything now okay fingers crossed and diagnostics showing all okay
All I would say is test your battery’s, as read they can just suddenly go and with not much warning apparently.
This one def is knackered as showing only a 6v on the charger when clearly should be a12v cells clearly ruined inside
At least now on way to wedding 😀

The old battery can fur up the contact between it and the battery connectors when it is being drawn down, if you put a new battery on without cleaning them you can get a high resistance that will give the symptoms you describe, after a few demands for power you can get success...

Well worth taking them off and giving them a good clean when you get back...

Enjoy the wedding...  Pete

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2014 L405 Autobiography SDV8 4.4 Loire Blue Ebony interior
2011 L322 Vogue SE 4.4 TDV8 Baltic Blue. Parchment over Navy Interior. Sold
2012 L322 Autobiography 5.0 Supercharged Ipanema Sand, Jet Interior. Sold
2002 L322 Vogue 4.4 V8 Epson Green, Ivory over Aspen Interior (Fatty Offroader) Sold
-Click for Project Fatty off roader-