post jokes or things that are funny section onto no6 Range Rover

Everyone needs a hobby

yeah need to do something ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

Christmas is coming the Goose is Getting Fat.
I don't often send a card to such an ugly
but typing is cheap & times are hard
so here's your fuc***g christmas card ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

At any given moment............



79 million people are having sex..............



58 million are kissing .................



37 million are enjoying oral sex


1 lonely is reading this message .......... YOU HANG ON IN THERE  ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she ask, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to yourself when I tell you the price.'

 ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

2 JEWS WALK INTO THE MANCHESTER UNITED TICKET OFFICE TO BUY SEASON TICKETS " ARE YOU BOTH CIRCUMSISED " ASKS THE LADY AT THE COUNTER " YES OF COURSE WE ARE " THEY REPLY.

"THEN I AM SORRY YOU CANNOT GET ANY AS YOU NEED TO BE A COMPLETE DICK TO BE A MAN UTD FAN" ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

Last edited by JOKER on 11th Dec 2008 10:08pm. Edited 1 time in total

You must be a Man City fan then..

WHAT IN SCOTLAND NAAAAA ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

I have 2 tickets to spurs Vs Manure on Saturday if anyone local in the West Upper Stand

THE AMOUNT OF BANTER WE HAVE PUT ON HERE TONIGHT BETWEEN MYSELF ,KIN ,FULL FAT NOT DIET, SPEEDYMARKTD6, IT IS GOING TO TAKE A LOT OF READING FOR SOMEONE WHO MIGHT JUST LOG ON.



IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN, IF YOU DO NOT HEAR FROM ME TOMORROW I WILL PROBABLY HAVE BEEN RUN OFF THE ROAD BY A RRS DRIVER.


NOW THERE IS A RRS DRIVER SITTING THINKING " HOW THE F**K CAN I CATCH A FFRR" .............. LOL ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

MICK wrote:

IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN, IF YOU DO NOT HEAR FROM ME TOMORROW I WILL PROBABLY HAVE BEEN RUN OFF THE ROAD BY A RRS DRIVER.

Mick..where are you? Not heard from you since lunch time

Hope you haven't predicted your own demise?

Nup still here ,

Just bought my Epileptic mate a strobe light for Christmas.

He'll have a f**king fit when he see it.

The Germans are Coming .....

"EuroEnglish" - Rated G

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.