Stolen from Piston Heads.


My mate won a Land Rover experience day.

They drove him to a layby on the A38 where he had to wait 4 hours for the RAC. letters not necessarily in the right order

I will have to repeat that elsewhere! Paul,
2001 Discovery 2 TD5, 211,000 miles & climbing
2006 FFRR TDV8 Vogue 151,000 miles & now sold
Member of Midland (Land) Rover Owners Club, www.mroc.co.uk

There are 10 types of people in this World.


Those who understand Binary.


And those who don't!

There are two types of people in this world.

Those that can extrapolate from partial data.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don’t. Current: 2011 FFRR Vogue SE 4.4 TDV8
Previous: -
2004 FFRR Vogue 4.4 V8 with LPG
1997 P38 4.0 SE with LPG
1997 P38 4.6 Vogue with LPG

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board for contacting people who have pasta way..........  Agueroooooooooo. 93-20
I swear you will never see anything like this ever again....watch it..drink it in.

 BMW i3 Electric Car
2012 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8 (now gone)
2006 VW Touareg 3.0 TDi V6

I had to attend a friends funeral the other day, very sad story. He got killed by a tennis ball

It was a lovely service though.

slightly topical but risque



Colleague did a sexual harassment course at work today.















I think he's going to be really good at it  Cheers
Richard

(there are no such things as an ordinary FullFat, an ordinary cat or too many tools)
2011 TDV8 Vogue Santorini Black
Gap IIDBT

AJGalaxy2012 wrote:

Click image to enlarge

Do you have photographs? Is she house trained?  John
2008 Stornoway Grey 3.6 Tdv8 Vogue - SOLD
2005 TD6 Java Black Vogue - Written off!!
GAP iiD BT-Sold

I have just visited the conjunctivitis website online, what a sight for sore eyes that was

You show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat minor.

I just found out I'm colour blind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?

My Grandfather invented the Cold Air Balloon... It never really took off.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean ? Nothing, they just waved

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg.
I thought: ‘This could be interesting.'

A man is washing his car with his son when the boy says, "Dad, can’t we use a sponge?"

My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in different wrappers. He gets his Snickers in a Twix.

How do you console someone with bad grammar? Their they're there.

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

The fact that there is a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven, says a lot about the anticipated traffic

Some nice people just knocked on the door collecting for the old folks home, I gave them my Nan. ..

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

The owner of Odeon cinemas died today His funeral will be held next Monday at 2.10pm, 4.10pm, 6.30pm & 8.15pm.

Have to report yet another death, because, sad to say, the man who invented predictive text has passed away. His funfair will behold at 12 moon next Monkey.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

If you keep your head when all about are losing theirs, you probably don't understand the problem.

My inferiority complex isn't as good as yours.

Is there a Philip in this group? If so, can you tell him I've found his screwdriver....

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

We've always been such good friends. If we were on a sinking ship with only one lifejacket...................... well ................ I'd really miss you.

How do so many people get simple sayings wrong? Answers on a coastguard.

I was stopped by a policeman last night who asked me where I was between 5 and 7
Apparently infant school was not the right answer

When you feel you are a fool it is better not to open your mouth and prove it.

Sixty- three per cent of all statistics are worthless.

A psychic dwarf escaped from prison. Headline in the morning paper: "Small medium at large"

Polygamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. BMW i3 Electric Car
2012 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8 (now gone)
2006 VW Touareg 3.0 TDi V6

At a nursing home a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.

"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third.

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another contributed.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man.

Then there was a short moment of silence.

"Thank God we can all still drive," said one woman cheerfully BMW i3 Electric Car
2012 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8 (now gone)
2006 VW Touareg 3.0 TDi V6

STOCK MARKET TRADING

News from todays stock market: -

Paper is Stationery

Knives are up sharply

Feathers are down

Cows steered into a Bull market

Weights were up in heavy trading

Fluorescent lights were down in light trading

Pencils were down a few points

Lifts went up and then down

Escalators experienced a slight decline

Mining equipment hit rock bottom

Nappies were unchanged BMW i3 Electric Car
2012 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8 (now gone)
2006 VW Touareg 3.0 TDi V6