2006 (56 Reg) 4.4 V8 Vogue In Bonatti Grey (Gorgeous!!)

 2006 (56 Reg) 4.4 V8 Vogue In Bonatti Grey (Gorgeous!!)

Capitalisation is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse or helping your uncle jack off a horse!

 2006 (56 Reg) 4.4 V8 Vogue In Bonatti Grey (Gorgeous!!)

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South
Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught
the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the
winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the
village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He
called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter
going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even
more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the
man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a
very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shedload of firewood.'

Something to think about!

Manure... An interesting fact

Manure:- In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.

As the manure was stored below decks in bundles, you can see what could (and did) happen..

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern... BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' ,
(Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day..

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a FFRR term.

went into a zoo the other day and they only had one animal! a very small dog




It was a s h I t z u

47p2 wrote:

Ship High In Transit story

Whist we are on the subject -


And then came the assumptions And the assumptions were without form And the plan was completely without substance. And the darkness came upon the face of the workers, And they spoke amongst themselves, saying: "It is a crock of sh!t and it stinketh."

And the workers went unto their supervisors and sayeth: It is a pail of dung and none can abide the odour thereof."

And the supervisors went unto their managers, and sayeth unto them: "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, Such that none can abide it."

And the managers went unto the directors and sayeth: "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none can abide its strength."

And the directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another: "It contains that which aids plant growth, and is very strong."

And the directors went unto the vice presidents, and sayeth to them: "It promotes growth and is very powerful."

And the vice presidents went unto the president, and sayeth unto him: "This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this company, and certain areas in particular."


And the president looked upon the plan, and saw that it was good. And the plan became policy.

And this is how sh!t happens .

Seb Coe - Chelsea fan, goes to Anfield presents his ticket at the wrong turnstile.
Scouser says "your entrance is at the other side of the ground sir"
Seb says "do you know who I am - I'm Seb Coe"
Scouser says "good - it shouldn't take you long to get round there then" Geoff

Polar Bear walks into a bar, sits down and says

"I'd like a pint of................................................................
..........................
.......................
........................

......Lager please barman"

Barman says to him "ok, but why the big pause?"

Bear says "I dunno, they just grew that way!"

One for the kids at Christmas (or grandkids)

Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?

In case they get a hole in one! Geoff

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan ..

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted
15.00 Yen, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.

Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, 20.00 Yen'.

'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 1 Yen.'

The salesman looked both ways, put one Yen in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit, which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
  GONE 2010 Facelifted 3.6 TDV8 - Stornoway Grey + 22" Overfinch Olympus
HAVE 1999 Discovery 2 GS 4.0 V8 - Silver - Off Road Toy
GONE 2013 L405 4.4 SDV8 Vogue. Black with Silver roofline and 22" s
HAVE 2015 Jaguar XF.